well,im slackin at home now.maybe go sengkang to return library bo0ks later and i neEd to withdraw some money.2 more daes to v dae.i have yet to buy something for all my loved ones.sheEsh..whad shuld i buy??

anyway,i met ruzanna with her 'fren' who is a fren of my boyfren.hahaha..i love to confuse others,which makes me a confused child who learned the art of confusion from her confused boyfren. the 'fren' is taufiq,same sch as hanis. me,karmilagile,ain and met at toa payoh and we were goin back n forthin the centre of toa payoh interchange area there tryin to find THIS FASHION. that pompan (karmilagile) want to buy clothes pasal she dapat gaji,abeh nak spend ar.mcm lar ako nie heran sangat.ako pon dapat duit.reelek sua.so,tgh carik kedai tu,walaupon ako nie potek,ako cam si ruz tu dari blakang.dier dari dulu jln macm gitu.den i shouted her name ar.RUZ.....!!!! tapi memandangkan si dektu torek,dier nampak sah tak dengar,jadi tak leh salahkan.so,i chased after her and grab her from de back. her response was... Woi! aper ko buat kat sini? dah lama seh tak jumpe korg....then si gile n her sis managed to ketchup with me den chat ngarot jap pat tgh2 dunia.pas tu,kiter jumpe kak seri(teater fren) pat tgh2 dunia tu jugak den continue our search on THIS FASHION.buthen went to kedai THE 7 DOLLAR SHOP which is the same as THIS FASHION.dah beli brg2 si gile tu,went out of de shop and i realised that kedai tu tipu kiter.cakap $7 shop tapi jual baju ader sampai belasan dollars. buey seh...then gi drama..and ako kempunan nak mkn nasi ayam..nasib baik takder batu belah batu bertangkop.klau tak ako dah masok dlm batu tu. teater was never boring.we learned how to breathe porperly,wifout our shoulders movin n all.it was quite tough and we had this kinda 'drill'.mcm nak main bola seh.from one point to another,buat mengarotnyer action,to the rythm of the songs playd.lagu arab lar..rock lar..klakarly penat.but it was great.criter panjang lagi tap mcm malaz nak bagi in detale.

met hanis yesterday.de nyte b4 i actually cried bcoz it was quite long since i met him.hahaha.bedek seh.baru jumpe on monday nyte.but all this while kiter jumpe pon mcm takder pape coz it was usually so0 down n glo0my (the atmosphere).beh mcm tak fun ar.but yesterday starting jumper i cried alitle coz he lo0ks like he wasnt hapie to seE me.n the nyte i cried i tol myself im gonna hug him so0 tightly de 1st thing i seE him.buthen,kiter pat dlm mrt.ppl were already lo0kin at me when i was walkin in de mrt to de seat bside him coz mrt tu ader byk seat lagi so i guess ppl tot i was tryin to be flirty n go to the end of the mrt juz to sit bside this uniformd guy.get whad i mean? yalar..we were feelin damn awkward..well,maybe its juz me.i juz wanted to cry but i was realli keepin it back but not all the tears. on the escalator at sgoon station,i hugged him tightly and a few stupid tears juzt wanted 2 be out of my eye.it was touching ar. after that though,we managd to talk shit noe.it was so0000 long since we had a long n njoyable talk.we dont talk lar.we were actually spurtin nonsense bcoz we dont talk bout us,but more of things non-related to us.so,it was super fun! haa.....that was a great feelin.he was bein de hanis that i knew,b4 he went to sajc.i guess it muzt b freakinly stwessful n tiwin(tirin).all de essays n cca all.haa...i realLy hope that he wasnt fakin yesterdae juzt to make me hapie.i realLy2 wish that he njoyd himself as much as i did.

anyway,enuff of me.now i wilL touch more on v dae.in 2 daes tyme only.
v. dae is a dae to show your love n affection to ur loved ones.so it isnt necessary to have a partner to celebra8 it.ur mom dad bros siss nenek frens, all of them can be de ones u can celebra8 wif.its mutual.u dont haf to buy stuffs n spend all ur savings to buy stuffs.(maybe some of ur savings will do) hahaha...u can show ur love in a free n pollution-freE wae...juzt telL them that u love them.a hug or a kisz on de cheEk will du juzt fine to0,its like n adDitional side dish to a 3 course meal.but du remember,its not on v dae,14 of feb only,that u can show ur love.evryday can b v dae! so,its not only on the 14 of feb.however,u can show extra love n affection to ME on 1st of april of evry year.ok? to spread the spirit of love passion afFection care to de world (ok maybe part of singapore), im goin to put up some love quotes and poems for u people to read and mayb ponder.so, an advance wish from me to all. HAPIE VALENTINES DAY EVRYONE and HAPIE BURFDAE TO CAIYANG AND MY MOTHER!!!! (p/s: remember to love urself b4 u love others)

Love is life....
And if you miss love,you miss life.

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.

A person's look are never going to make you love them or like them.

The love we give away is the only love we keep.

Love is a little blind.When we love someone dearly,we unconsciously overlook many thoughts.

Love is love.Teenagers are as capable of being in love as adults are,perhaps even more so.

Trust enables you to put your deepest feelings and fears in the palm of your partner's hand,knowing they will be handled with care.

Love is love's reward.

Love isn't like a reservoir.You'll never drain it dry. It's much more like a natural spring. The longer and farther it flows,the stronger and deeper and clearer it becomes.

Love is a game that two can play and both win.

Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority.

Love just happens. We don't have to do anything.

One makes mistakes;that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.

Loves cures people, both the ones who give it, and the ones who receive it.

All life represents a risk,and the more lovingly we live our lives the more risks we take.

Love is not what we become,but what we already are.

Love is always present,it is just a matter of feeling it or not.

To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do.

One makes mistakes: That is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.

No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.

The only love worthy of a name is unconditional.

The giving of love is an education itself.

Love has no price.It is only love if it is free.

If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.

Wherever you are, I am there also.

The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved-loved for ourselves, or rather, loved inspite of ourselves.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart.

Losing in love is like losing in chess; the more you play,the more you learn.

The affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, freedom, is rooted in one's capacity to love.

The loving person has no need to be perfect, only human.

The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of.

MY BEST FEATURE

I asked my friend this afternoon,
As I gazed into my reflection,
What she thought of what i saw.
She said,"Images are usually misconceptions."

I started to put down my appearance,
Wishing I was thinner or taller.
She looked at me with understanding eyes,
Saying,"Superficial wishes only make you smaller."

I knew she was right,but who was she to talk,
For she was every guy's dream.
I tried to point this out to her,
She replied,'Appearances aren't always what they seems."

"Tell me five features you admire in yourself,"she said,
And i knew my troubles had just begun,
For i could see the hurt in her expression,
When I couldn't even think of one.

I could not think of a single feature I liked,
And I could feel my stomach slowly start to sink.
So i turned to my friend and simply said,
"Well what do you think?"

"I think you're looking at it all wrong,"she said
"And I wish I could make it clearer.
It's what's inside you that makes you beautiful,
And not what can be seen in the mirror."

She said,"You're the most loving person I know,
And I hate to watch you fall apart.
If you want to know what makes you beautiful to me,
Your best feature is your heart."

STONE BY STONE

I have a wall you cannot see
Because it's deep inside of me.
It blocks my heart on every side.
And helps emotions there to hide.
You can't reach in,
I can't reach out,
You wonder what it's all about.

The wall I built that you can't see
Results from insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt
The scars within grew worse and worse.
So stone by stone,
I built a wall,
That's now so thick it will not fall.

Please understand that it's not you-
Continue trying to break through.
I want so much to show myself
And love from you will really help.
So bit by bit,
Chip at my wall,
Till stone by stone it starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow-
It's never easy to let go
Of hurts and failures long ingrained,
Upon one's heart from years of pain.
I'm so afraid,
To let you in,
I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall,
But seem to get nowhere at all.
For stone upon each stone I've stacked,
And left between them not a crack.
The only way
To make it fall is imperfections in the wall.

I did the best I could to build
A perfect wall, but there are still
A few small flaws, which are the key
To breaking through the wall to me.
Please use each flaw
To cause a crack
To knock a stone off of the stack.

For just as stone by stone was laid
With every hurt and every pain,
So stone by stone the wall will break
As love replaces every ache.
Please be the one
Who cares enough
To find the flaws, no matter what.

THE PIT OF LOVE

I fixed my eyes upon the pit
And vowed to stay away.
And yet the blackness called to me,
From where I wished to stay.

They say love's one man's folly
And another's key to fame.
But love was not an issue,
I hated the crying games.

Still, I wandered toward the pit,
It held a strange allure.
It proved a place of mystery
I'd never been before.

Up to the edge I crept,
Looking into the abyss.
Though Iknoew not what waited me,
This chance I could not miss.

I lived a sheltered, quite life:
I longed to risk it all.
I took one more step forward,
'Twas there I took the fall.

I tried to grab onto the edge,
Regretting my new fate.
Instead I kept on falling;
My efforts were in vain.

Although I landed softly,
I sensed a bruise or scar.
But those were often made
In matters of the heart.

However, doubt consumed my mind,
"Would he be like the last?"
Until at length I felt a touch,
It swept the doubt I'd cast.

His strong hands pulled me close to him.
As one we climbed above.
I realized I had fallen safe
Into the arms of love.

FIRST TIME

In looking back I realize
The first time is a measure
I'll use to weigh my memories
That tomorrow I will treasure.

First kiss,first date,first phone call
First one to hold my hand
First time to feel the kind of love
I hardly understand.

Yet after careful viewing
If it won't hold up to light
I'll have another "first time"
To try and get it right.

THE KISS

It happened so quickly
The world must have shook.
I'd always hoped it will happen
Like it does in a book.

He looked at me softly
And then touched my hair.
I felt so special
Like he really did care.

He leaned over slowly
My heart upped its pace.
Right at that moment
We were face to face.

When his lips touched mine
I thought I would melt.
His kiss was the sweetest thing
I have ever felt.

THE KEY TO MY HEART

Late at night,
When I should be asleep,
Into my heart,
You quietly creep,
I sit and ponder,
How it could be,
But you must have stumbled,
Across the key,
I know our friendship,
Could mean so much more,
But it's up to you to open the door.

WITH HONOR

If I have to be your best friend
If that's all that I can get
Then I'll take the job with honor
I'll be the best one yet.
I'll offer you my shoulder
I'll show how I care
I'll be there when you need me
I'm not going anywhere.
If I have to be your best friend
The one who hears you cry
Then I'll take the job with honor
I'll take the job with pride.
My love for you is stronger
Than you will ever know
But for you to ever love me
I will have to let you go.
You need time to find your purpose
You need time to sort your thoughts
But when the course has ended
And the race is finally run.
Remember it's your best friend
Who has loved you from day one.


If I know what love is,
it is because of you.

broken by love 10:32 am

Sunday, February 08, 2004