im damn whacked. but i cant sleep!!! cause i did so in de bus! urgh.. luckily i woke up exactly at my bustop. phew! if not, i have to travel from an extra stop. sheesh. thank god.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
why am i damn tired ey? well, i had my napfa 2.4 km run tis mornin. but thats not al. i had bhangra practice as well!
2.4 was ok i guess. i think im de first girl to end de run. YEAY!! and my timin for today was also de best! 12.36. DOUBLE YEAY! but thats for de first batch of peeps. de second batch im not sure whether theres any girl whos faster. if there is.. im gonna whack her man! hahah... (you wish siti) actually i wont mind. that means i have to do better next year!
after al that runnin, i went to macs with my bhangra boys, de two chis and nimi. wow.. we did alot of bitchin i tell ya. hahaha... so0 much fun. then de two chis (yatie n sonia) went to catch a movie (i think its ella enchanted) while de bhangra boys, me and nimi went to scho0l for practice. nimi was just wasting her time with us. it was so0 fun!!! well, dancin was never not fun for me. anyway, somethin happenend that was both shockin (to me) and funny. i was violated!!! it was so0 shockin. but its was funny to0!
ok, tis was whad happened. we had to do some bhangra stunts. so de first stunt was me with ravi. im suppose to cling on to ravis waist with my legs and he'll swing me around. then i have to change partner, which is mat noh. with him i have to do a neck swing which is me clenchin my hands together but placed round mat nohs neck and he'll swing me around as well. whad happend was i was a lil dizzy after being swung around by ravi and i was laughin cause i find it funny, somehow. i was actually whackd by then so i tend to laugh to make myself enjoy de whole thing instead (before de stunts, we had a very long and repeated times of dance routine). so mat noh and me was tired by de time we have to do de neck swing.i was still laughin and i didnt have de energy to hang on to his neck. by tis time de other 2 pairs had already started swingin. so mat noh still carried on. thing is, i wasnt even hangin on to him. he just carried me from my waist and tried swingin me. i couldnt help it but to just laugh and i was actually droppin. so his hands went from my waist to somewhere 'up there'. my top was accidentally dragged up as well. not de whole thing though. anw, de swing was supposed to be 4 rounds but ours was only two cause ravi said stop when he saw de weird position i was in (my hands were not behind his neck and i lo0ked like a lil kid who wants to be freed... basically, i lo0ked sto0pid). and we crashed to de flo0r laughin our butts off. it was damn funny. i couldnt stop laughin. mat noh mat noh... oh yah. and de second time we did de stunt, we were both tryin our best to not laugh. but we still did. and tis time, well, we were perfectly ready and when he swung me round, my leg hit de wall! we had to skipped de stunt and carry on. hahah... super funny. ha.... fun day today.
hanis was so0 schweet! he was damn panic when i told him bout de incident. it WAS an accident. but it was funny as well. hahah... happy happy!!! i stil wurf you! wo0f wo0f!! and i miss you!!!! we must see each other so0n ya? smile always!
p/s: i know you're jealous darlin. hahah...
broken by love 4:27 pm
yeay!! i did it !! on my own!!! ho0rah!! i managed to put up de background photo of my blog. de designer revamped her photobucket thingy so, yeah.. i did it... way co0l.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
i caught de movie mean girls. it was girly (like duh) but ok. theres de dumb blonde, de bitch, de i-cant-help-it-if-people-loves-me and de african-home scho0l nerd. de guy, aaron, is damn hot! actually hes just co0l. i thought of my boyfriend instead. i went with hitler, aishah, akbar and farhan. its quite weird though since de group was very small. de last time we went as a class was to watch van helsing and there were 8 of us. that was damn fun. very noisy and al. thats whad i like. anyway, de movie gets 2 pacs of nachos and half of de cheese.
i miss hanis. i hope hes okay. guess he misses me to de core huh? well, im just irresistable.
broken by love 8:34 pm
aww... sho schweet!! i cried again. that song has a place in my heart now.. right next to hanis. i love you sho muchies!!
Monday, July 26, 2004
im at home. no scho0l. well, actually there is, just that i didnt go. due to my splittin headache and running nose yesterday and achings tis mornin. sigh. im still slackin huh? after de mid year and knowin that i just sux academically. and not to mention physically. sheesh. i really think that god is tryin to tell me something. that im just hopeless. sigh.
HOWEVER, im still gonna prove Him wrong. i need more determination, concentration, hardwork, right attitude, prayers, confidence and support to succeed. not forgettin, my other half, who has been there for me most of the time. i just have to manage my time properly. which is de toughest part for me since i tend to NOT follow it. sheesh. whad a loser.
anw, no worries. i should be able to do it. (god bless)
fyi, i am a complete loser. i cant even do my own template for my blog. how sucky is that??! urgh..
*grEenin* im sho happy to see that my boyfriend is gettin along really well with my hitler. i was thinkin of that kind of bondin just now, goin back from de polyclinic. i want my friends to treat him like they treat me. and ijah, thanx babe. you're one hell of friend. Hail Hitler! love you girl.
im not sure whad happened and i dont intend to be a busybody. ( im not sure whether she reads my blog ) anyway..
Kelly, i truly agree with hanis. and do tell him if you need any help/advise or just a listenin ear. Be strong babe!!
p/s: IJAH!!! de blog how??? when??! i cant wait!!!
broken by love 2:14 pm
im not sure whad to type exactly. but wait a minute... i have LOTS to type actually. hmm.. this is whad happened today.
Friday, July 23, 2004
guess whad man?! i didnt run for any relay events! how co0l is that?! so0o0 NOT co0l. im like al geared up and ready but last minutely, my sto0pid quards have to be pulled. like.. cant it pulled when i wasnt havin any race?! argh!! it was SUPER annoyin. i just felt de great annoyance today. i didnt run for 4x40om just now AND my 4x1o0m yesterday. and im like so0o0o0o lo0kin forward to 4x1o0!!!! hey, i trained my ass off man!! whad de hell was tis leg injurin at de last moment! ARGH!!!! i feel like cursin but i guess im not in de mo0d. or i have heard enough for today. hah!
hanis was damn cute today. its like de FIRST time he actually let it al out! everytime hes angry or pissd with someone, he will usually keep it to himself. well, people change. and unexpectedly, so does hanis. hahahah... (bastard ah siti..i know..i know... but he loves me still...right??) well, he has to0! its our 7th month today!! YEAY!
well, he made my day. he always has. especially everytime we meet up. its like al my energy that was used up is being replenish. my s0urce!! of love, hope, power and future. we wouldnt have meet up if he wasnt pissd with *ahem* (not me!.. honest!). cause of that, i wanted to cheer him up by givin him a hug. so, yeah, we eventually meet up. he didnt want to at first cause he knows that he'll be al sad and quiet. but well, no0ne can resist me man... so, in de end, he talkd de most. hahahah... that was fun. i really like bein a listener. i learned alot. how people handle situations and other stuffs. hmm... i should be an observer when i grow up ( i mean, when im 0lder) well, i can do research and stuffs related. umm.. is that a career??
anw, im REALLY REALLY lo0kin forward to next years nationals. bella wont be able to run with us since she has art club thingy and well, she really is love with art. and shes go0d, so lets not waste that talent ey.. shanaz is stil jugglin alot of stuffs. shes very into alot of shits.. hahah... shes damn talented. shes in netball, track, used to be playin soccer for one of de s-league team, in some outside dance group thingy and studies in a science stream! how busy is that?! wows... i cant even juggle with just ONE cca. sheesh. and hers is a dilemma. netball teacher wants her cause of her height (shes 179, i think, around that height) and my coaches agreed! but she wants to be in track.. i think. sigh.. very indecisive. and i heard (not sure whether its true) that another one of my close track member is gonna leave for another cca.. bo0 ho0 ho0!! i guess i have to run de whole 4o0m by myself then.. (and i have a feelin that mr chua is aimin me for that event) G0d..im so0 dead.
*breathe in breathe out* okay. im fine. relax ct. chill. maintain. maintain your figure girl.. hahah... off 'course'.. hah! pun spotted.anw, im AIMIN to start serious trainin from now on. its tough for me. i know that al those go0d athletes whackd themselves al de way to achieve whad they want and to be where they are now. i was thinkin of it just now. i need to train like at least 4 times per week. serious trainin. but, with the commitment bein in a relationship and studies, its damn tough for me. and not forgettin time with my family and friends. that was de reason why i wasnt able to tell hanis just now when i told him that i felt like givin up. i was afraid that he would be hurt, upset and disappointed in me because its like im blamin him indirectly by statin that de relationship im committin into is takin my time to succeed in life. i know he will feel that way and he will as he reads tis. please dont get de wrong idea hanis. and please dont think that whad you told me in de bus was wrong. it was in every way so0 right. i shouldnt quit, since i want to be 'up there'. i must do de exact opposite. and i really appreciate your support. al this while, even before tis 7 months. i love you hanis.
i think i better go now. i need to sleep! and my accounts tutorial is not exactly complete. AND i have an accounts test tomorrow. which i have not studied for since my file is in scho0l ( i just realised that). ah.. heck lah.. ok. ct! thats not a go0d way to start your new aim. *breathe in breathe out* i shall sleep now and wake up tmrw, go scho0l early, and do whadever i have to do. come on ct!!! like acjcs tee mantra, "Just Whack".
broken by love 12:00 am
I MISS HANIS!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
and i pulled my thigh muscle.
broken by love 12:10 am
im here in my ro0m, bored to0 death. im a lil tired as well. i had trainin tis mornin at 8. for our relay. de event is tis comin wednesday. *breathe out* im countin on tis one since i screwd to de max for my 1o0m (oh yah.. mr chua last minutely yesterday told me to run for 4x4o0m as well. im screwd) it was damn sto0pid lah. i wasnt pressured at al. i think it was confidence. so, i screwed it. yeah.. for me, i think being confident doesnt help at al. either that or i should join some other cca. like dance.
Saturday, July 17, 2004
sajc dance concert was nice!! it was really enjoyable. de whole theatre was roarin with applause and cheers everytime de dancers completed their dance. de sajc dancers n some outside group of dancers were full of energy and damn hyper. but de special dance by de sajc staffs was de rocking one! who on earth expected de staffs to actually dance!?! definitely not hanis. he actually received 'whackings' (verbally) by his history teacher and to see him on stage jumpin to de beat and rythm of de thunderin song, well, it was very unexpected! de commotion started from de front row where squeals of girls were heard, followed by a wave of gasps, shrieks, laughters and "oh my god"s from de front all de way to de back and de upper flo0r of de theatre. de thing is, de staff can actually dance!! oh how co0l is that! they definitely received de loudest applause and cheers and whistles which really sho0k de whole place. btw, where was ms k??? i think her dearest students was really anticipatin her appearance.
wow!!! kelly is one hell of a go0o0d dancer! (but she cant beat me..) she can really really flex her body! so graceful and al. i was definitely awed by that. even though i dont know her but i kept a lo0k out for her whenever shes on stage. ( i sound like a stalker..) shes a gymnast. if hanis were to do that, ill be callin de paramedics de moment he bends forward to touch his toes.
his classmates and og frens were damn nice. they're very friendly. you know the stereotype, " jc students are stuck up". well, not tis bunch. they were al so hyper and al over de place. i got to meet weishan, kelly, tis guy wearin an arsenal jersey and a girl wearin a white top (i cant remember their names). they're his classmates. and two guys, gen (i think thats how its spelt) and jing-somethin (again, i couldnt remember), his og members. it was really nice to see smiles and so much joy on everyones faces.
well, i felt bad though. i guess his frens definitely wanted him to hang around a lil longer but we left after he to0k some photos with them. i didnt mind if he had wanted to. i can go home on my own. (but i know he gonna get whackd by his frens if he abandoned me..hahahah) also i screwd up de night by feelin so down. thing is, i wanted us to spend more time together but he wanted us to go home. well, it was quite late. and we did get lost and stranded out of nowhere for awhile. i guess i was whackd. i did have my run that afterno0n. so, i was al mo0dy and pmsy. and i miss him. im sorry.
hmm.. i guess i dont have anytin else to say. even if i do, im just lazy to think hard of any current events and.... oh wait. i do have one 'exciting' thing to type.
when i came home after trainin tis mornin, i was sittin outside de house waitin for my granses to come home (no keys with me). when they've reached, gay (my yougest br0) was lickin to a candy. my first thought was de 'flic n lick' or 'pushpop' thingy. but it wasnt. guess whad it was?
a lipstick candy. how sick can that be?! he (or she) is really turnin into one hell of a trans. sigh... and he was tryin show me how hes puttin on de so-called lipstick but i just dont feel like lo0kin. makes me nauseous. and i couldnt be bothered as well. let him turn into one. at least i can share some clothes with him. maybe i can wear his bras if he attempt to undergo breast implants. that should be fun. it is to my advantage. hmm.... co0l.
broken by love 4:52 pm
i dont feel appreciated. sigh. that sucks.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
i tried on my new jersey and showed to my family. indifferent. especially my mom. GOD i hate it. she lo0ked up and then continued playing the fishing game with gay. damn it! at least my grand father commented, even though it wasnt encouraging (he commented on the sleeveless-ness. go0d enough.) and my grandmother smiled (i think) even though she didnt say anythin either (i hope she wasnt sneering. then thats go0d enough to0.) im superbly pissd by my moms reaction man!! damn rude. i reckon that my dad will react the same way. indifferent. to the max. argh!!!!
sigh. how nice can my family be. they are so0 supportive.
luckily, i have backup. something to lean on. my boyfriend and my friends. these two sources have been very helpful, kind, understanding, reliable (i hope..hahah) and caring enough to support me and pull me up when im falling (literally) THANK YOU PEOPLE!! I LOVE YOU GUYS TO0!!!
well, i screwd my mid year. as expected, well, i screwd it. nothing to say.
and so0... my competition is this friday. im goin to be nervous to de max! why im nervous? 1) i've never run in 1o0m before for de nationals 2) my starting sucks because im still not sure which is my 'push off' leg 3) alot of people are counting on me and have their faiths up there for me and i dont wish to disappoint them 4) im running with sprinters from top jcs!! (whad de hell!! helen from vjc is doin it at 12.94 and me??! well, im doin it at 15 secs!! whadsup with that man!!! im goin to be the Top from de back. confirm.) 5) people are goin to watch me run (like duh ct..) 6) i get demoralize easily, especially when other runners start to leave me behind... sob sob. that should be it. oh god.. this is stressful. *breathe in breathe out* ok ct. come on gerl.. you can if you go all out.. just do your best.. run like theres no tomorrow... ( well, ill be at home and prayin to de max if theres no tomorrow..sheesh!) fine... ALL OUT MAN!!!
TWO WORDS for all those runnin in de nationals.. JIA YOU!!
im out of here.
oh wait... i totally forgot.
the solution to my moms reaction is to study harder. actually, its just to counter her back. and also my feelings. so i should concentrate on my studies. it will and should help. it will make me feel better. not sure how that happens. but i really hope it will. so0... ALL DE BEST TO ME!!
i love you hanis
broken by love 10:34 pm
oh... did i tell you guys that ive changed my subject combi and that is why im here!! pe staff ro0m...
Monday, July 12, 2004
(hes back... with mrs wong...)
broken by love 9:47 am
oh my god...
im in de pe staff ro0m.... ALONE!!!! WAHAHAHAH... mr heikal when out for awhile and he actually trust me to be in here! wah... i better not lose his trust man... i can do anythin i want... i mean de bad stuffs. aww... he trust me.... yes! make him proud.. make him proud siti...
broken by love 9:43 am
yeay! its been a while since i blog in. guess where i am now? nope. not at home. im in scho0l. in de pe teachers ro0m, to be exact. co0l huh? im with mr heikal now. but he askd me to do some checkin bout de nationals event order for tis campus, in case theres any mistakes.so now, after checkin n al, he has given me de privilege to use it. hahaha.. and im siitin at mr amirs seat. his area! used to be though since he has already leave us, during june i think, to go to vs. sheesh. aww.. my eye candy.. wahhhahah... hes not go0d-lo0kin, come to think of it. mr heikal better.
but of course.. my coach whad... hahahha..
so.. im experiencin nervous breakdown very very so0n. and easily. 2 things now in mind. first, de nationals. its just tis friday. my 1o0m. damn nervous. and my timin is like like... argh! nevermind.
(mr heikal is talkin to me, across de ro0m. sort of. and he has his bonus today! so he was askin me whad i wanna eat coz he wanna treat me. well, he owes me one. i helpd him with his powerpoint slides. twice! hahah... weir teacher)
hmm.. where was i? oh yah.. second thing to be nervous about is de meetin of de folks. i was set up by my 'sweet' sly irritatin boyfriend to meet his family. when? on his burfdae. how nice. (yeah ryte) im bastardize.
(im really slackin with mr heikal man... but i learn alot from him to0.)
hanis, no worries. i love you still. even though i dont know how to prepare for de inevitable. suggestions anyone?? sheesh...
broken by love 9:04 am